I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
