spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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