That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Small penises have feelings too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
