Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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