you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
