my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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