he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
