That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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