just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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