walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
