If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pooping to opera.
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