yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
