I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
