I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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