oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
