dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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