Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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