I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
