He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
