Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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