Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
