I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize