Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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