This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
