There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
