I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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