what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Four minutes until I can fart!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
