Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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