i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
