ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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