He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
