The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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