winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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