He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
