I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize