I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
