these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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