I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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