yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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