I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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