dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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