just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
