My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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