Whod you bang
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
