ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
