That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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