You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
