Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
