Ambien. No doubt about it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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