Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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