you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize