so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
