Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
