he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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