Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
