I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize